Wednesday, 16 January 2008

Gargling with Vimto

Driving has been the theme in the house, of late. I can’t drive. Not officially, anyway. I made a friend teach me the basics, because I had this fear that if ever I was kidnapped, and then managed to get away, and also managed to get the keys to the truck/car, I wouldn’t be able to actually drive away to safety. And so I learned how to put the key in the ignition and I learned that the pedals go A B C from the outside. Accelerator. Brake. Clutch. And I even drove at 40mph and learned how to do hill starts. But I am quite scared of traffic at the best of times, and I do not think I would make a very good driver. Although I like the idea of having a scooter, but I think that’s because I’ve watched a few too many Italian films. I think a scooter would be a DEATH TRAP in my hands. I think I’d only want to ride it on the pavements. So I will keep doing my bit for the environment and continue catching the bus.

I’ve read a lot of things this week that have made me step back, shake my head, and then dive right back in, still amazed at the amazingness of the words, still a little dazed. It has been great. Last week was all about writing. I had deadlines and also, I had these manic episodes where I had to grab my pen and scribble down stuff at top speed to catch up with my brain. It was a flurry that I knew I couldn’t sustain, but as long as it was happening I wasn’t going to do anything to stop it. Even though all the books I bought with my Christmas money arrived, even though it was my busy week at work, even though my hands were sometimes so cold that in the end I had to resort to typing in fingerless gloves, totally rocking the hobo look, I still had to keep on. And then it calmed down again. So this week, I have been reading. Lots. And I’m so spoilt for choice that I don’t know where to go next.

I’m feeling quite positive about 2008. I still don’t think it looks right, as a number, but I am getting used to it a bit now. Sometimes it feels as though time is running away with itself. Maybe that is partly to do with us stamping a month ahead at the Library. We are already stamping for February now, and in February we will be stamping for March. And so the year gallops off into the unknown all over again. It does feel like good things are going to happen, this year. Already, it feels a lot better than last year felt at this time. We’re only two weeks in, and I have things to be excited about. Being excited about things is almost as good, if not better, than the things themselves. So right now, to paraphrase Carol Ann Duffy, “I (am living) in a kind of fizzing hope. Gargling with Vimto.” I only hope I don’t choke.

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