Friday, 18 April 2008

Disappearing Takeaway Man

Today, I was woken at 4:15 am by incessant knocking at the door. My first thoughts were “G has another eBay delivery,” and I paused there, head slightly off the pillow, debating whether I would get up and answer the door, or whether I would lie back down and snooze on. As I was deciding this, I checked the time, which was not the expected 7 am, but was 4:15 am. No way was I getting up at 4:15 am. And then I heard smatterings of conversation, and what sounded like a police radio. I peeped out from the tiniest gap in the curtains and saw a car with the number 21 on its roof. It was indeed a police car. So I went downstairs in my stupid slippers that fall off if I try to descend too quickly, and I opened the door. The police. They were at the door. I was confused. I wondered if I’d inadvertently committed any crimes.

“Hello?” I said.

“Hello,” said the policewoman. “Have you had any Chinese food delivered tonight?”

This struck me as a weird question to be asking someone in monkey pyjamas at 4:17 am.

“Yes.(?)” I wondered how she knew. I couldn’t figure out where this was going.

“Did you know the delivery person?”

“Err...not personally, but we have ordered from there before.”

“Right. Okay, then.”


“He hasn’t returned, and you were the last people to see him.”


“Sorry to have woken you. Thanks for your time.”

I hope he just got tired and went home. I hope he’s okay. I’ve been thinking about it all day. There’s nothing in the local paper about a disappearance or a kidnapping or anything, so hopefully all is well now. I want to ring the takeaway and ask, but I think it might be a bit inappropriate. I think it’s best if I just try to forget all about it.


Jenn said...

I don't think I would be able to resist telephoning and asking. I think the part of people that decides if something is 'inappropriate' or not is broken when it comes to me.

Maybe you could ring and order more take-away and then just bring it up in conversation.

I hope he is okay too. Did he look happy and ordinary and enjoying his life and job when you saw him?

Did you give him a tip?

Maybe the police will want to come and check your house in case you have kept him in the attic.

I hope he is not in your attic.

emma j. lannie said...

No, he's in the cellar.

sally said...

Did he ever turn up? Or, should I say, did you hand him over?

emma j. lannie said...

Nope. He's still in the cellar.

Jenn said...

All those prawn crackers are gone now.

He is very cold.

But he is planning something down there. There are strange noises.

It sounds a bit like digging.