Saturday, 2 February 2008

Who would win in a battle between Joan of Arc and a Bumblebee?

Whenever there is a fancy dress party, I always go as a bumblebee. It’s never much of a disguise, even though I’m wearing a mask, because everybody knows it’s me. My bumblebee self has become part of the furniture. I do love my bumblebee costume, but lately I’ve been thinking about alternative costumes. The poncho that I wear when I’m cold looks a bit like chain mail, and every time I wear it (which has been a lot lately) I feel like Joan of Arc. A bit, anyway. It’s made me think about maybe being Joan of Arc at the next fancy dress party I go to. I’ve already planned out the tin foil-covered cardboard sword of my dreams. In fact, I think a lot of my costume would involve tin foil in one way or another. But it would be good. Well, in my head it’s good. I hope there’s a fancy dress party soon, so I get to try it out.

I think I could really get into character, as well. As a bumblebee, you can buzz a bit, but that’s really as far as it goes. But I could have quotes lined up if I went as Joan of Arc. Like “Hi, I’m from Rouen. Have you ever been to France?” And maybe I could even say it all in French. I would definitely say “poisson rouge” A LOT. And I could be all blase about the god stuff, say things like “Look, I knew nobody would take me seriously, what with me being a girl and everything. So I said god told me to do it. Who’s gonna argue with that? It’s not like I can’t wield a sword well. I mean, look...” and then I’d get out my tin foil-covered sword and sweep it around above people’s heads. It’d be brilliant.

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